Sunday, July 03, 2005


(This is my post from my Xanga site)

So I got to thinking, *yes I know*
and I was wondering about what makes people change, and not for the better.

I never understood it. I am not saying that I am perfect. But I know when I make a mistake or hurt someone. I might not always be perfect about the way I handle situations, but I try to make an honest effort to right things. You know the whole karma thing.

Lately I am thinking that some people aren't worth the effort that I have. I have a baby coming and a husband, and a house, and school and so many other things going on, that negative people just can't claim my attention anymore.

This is part of my reply to CYTOSTEPH's xanga entry :
"It's hard to accept that sometime friendships aren't what they used to be, or even to accept that people change. A good friend of mine has told me that you shouldn't feel bad for not keeping all the ppl you ever knew as friends as that is a lot of work, but especially the ones that don't show they are friends to you. There was someone in a church group that I thought was a good friend actually someone I tried to mentor, and I found out she was saying horrible things about me to other people. I don't need to waste time confronting her or even worrying. I have so much good and so many wonderful people in my life, that if she is talking about me I could care less. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, but it's sad that this person couldn't come to me and tell me. She has this problem and has pretty much alienated herself and her husband from the whole group of friends, so I know it wasn't something I really did."

And it's not ONLY this person, there have been many people in the past and present that aren't what they appear to be, and I, as I have gotten older, have to be more careful of who I let in my life.

With this baby coming I want to be a better person, and that means surrounding myself with good friends and family. People who support me and tell me like it is TO MY FACE, not shitting on me behind my back. I have always tried to do the same thing.

OK this was kinda deep, so I will stop before I overuse the noggin!