Thursday, October 27, 2005

I hate school. no not really, just ONE class

If y'all want to see pictures of the lil one, go here. I have updated a few.

Not much going on, getting KILLED by my biology class, at this point I am just trying to get through it. All the other classes are going well, and in a few weeks I will apply to get into the Nursing program. I am excited. I hope school goes by quick. Then I can have a life with my hubby and baby... it's really hard to balance everything right now, but I imagine with a job it will be worse.....

Enjoy the pics of the lil one!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

My baby Pumpkin!

My Lil Punkin!

She is doing well, learning some habits that we have no clue where she got them from. She has this habit of making herself as taut as a stick when she is super hungry, once she starts eating she turns into a little spaghetti.. very fun, let me tell you.

She has been trying to stay up past her bedtime "playing" with her cows (they were orignally mine)..

Being a parent is nothing like I thought it was when I planned it out in my head. I guess she will teach me a few lessons.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


I am going around in circles... I know I have to do what's best for my family. But having a CHOICE creates so many kinds of hell for me. Part of me wishes hubs would just tell me what to do. Having a choice makes me doubt myself and my judgment.

I envy the parents that didn't have a choice and had to do what they had to do. It takes that gulit out since one has to work/etc for the kids to eat, and that throws out the guilt. I don't necessarily have to work for the food to be on the table... but I know it would help out for us as a whole for me to work. I think it will affect me more than it does her. She will probably love it and not even miss me...

I don't know, but I know that it's a hard road, filled with hard decisions.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Little Trooper

She just got her first set of immunizations today... she did good. She was pissed when they shot her up, but then she took a tiny nap when we went to wal-mart to get the tylenol *just-in-case*

She is such a little trooper... Hubs aka DAD aka Dee came too, and didn't like to look at the needles.. so I told Shivani that he was scared of it, so she shouldn't be too scared. She smiled at me.

She doesn't seem to have any side effects so far other than being a little bit irritable... but wouldn't you be if you got stuck in the legs with vaccines :)

Monday, October 10, 2005

You won't believe this!

"Scientologists are encouraged not to comfort or nurture young children because Hubbard believed a child is simply a small adult who can look forward to look after themselves from a young age"

Read the whole article

I can't even fathom not being able to comfort my child because of my religion. I am sorry, I believe that everyone has the right to practice whatever they want to, but I think "what's the freaking point of HAVING the child if it's already considered an adult 'who can look forward to look after themselves from a young age' ????

I don't get it.

Sunday, October 09, 2005


Ok well I was just wondering about ppd. I don't know that I had it really.

I just felt pissed off about things. Nothing about baby, but just that my life changed and I didn't understand why. I think part of it is with the whole school (eventually work)/baby and just getting used to the idea that it's just not me and D anymore. It's a WHOLE new person, and that person needs me 24/7.

Sometimes I just sit there and wonder if I am a good mom, if I am doing everything right. I feel like I just let her down sometimes. But other times I think I am a supermom and can make her so completely happy (as she has made me)... It seems so contradictory.

I guess I really am going through normal things...I don't usually feel depressed as much as I do overwhelmed at times.

I think as time goes that I won't feel so glum.

Sweet Baby

She is 2 months old today!!!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Survey - Please inform me

Ok I need some info, so here's an informal survey :

Internet if you had a CHOICE to stay at home with your child, (or insert what you want to stay home or) would you CHOOSE to stay at home, or would you pursue work (or whatever passion you have) and to drop the child at daycare?

If you chose to pursue your work (passion, etc) please state why, did you have any regrets?

If you chose to stay at home with your children (or what else you are staying at home for), please state why and did you have any regrets?

Thank you, and if you remain anonymous, please answer the question completely as I want to know.

Thanks :)

Sunday, October 02, 2005


"And NO :( we didn't get to meet them last night"

This was referring to when we went to go and see
U2 with our VIP tix...

So now I pass the tag along to you...
The rules are:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

Ok Cyto_steph, arnair, Catt, BUQT, lilbittyladybug YOU ARE TAGGED!!!!